Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Not just crying, but weeping...

Okay, I am not done with discussion on Nehemiah 1:4 yet!  Sorry, but it spoke volumes to me and my heart!  Volumes that need to be adjusted in my own journey! So know when I write it is always being honest about my own life.  I am not sitting thinking I know more, that I think somebody else needs this writing, nope it is to speak into my own journey and if it helps somebody else too - fabulous!

Nehemiah 1:4 
As soon as I heard these words I sat down and wept and mourned for days, and I continued fasting and praying before God in heaven.

I have always been a woman that sheds my tears (if at all possible) when I am by myself.  I don't know if it is my upbringing or pride, but I don't and will not cry in front of people.  I will make a quick exit.  I will excuse myself to the restroom or I hold them inside.  It is just a part of who I am.  It is not necessarily a good thing about me, because I'm afraid it might be a pride issue!  Okay I said it.  It proves I am stronger if I hold them right?  Well, this verse right here shows me that in fact it is quite the opposite of strength! It shows my weakness.

Nehemiah was a strong, powerful man yet just hearing the words about the wall in Jerusalem caused him not to just cry, but to weep bitterly for days!  Not moments, but days and he let it all out.  Nehemiah let God hear his crying and his sorrow.  He shared his pain with God.  Nehemiah immediately let it all out ~ after all it says as soon as I heard these words...immediately he expressed his feelings.

Several things spoke to me that I believe God is sharing with me that tears are okay and He wants to help with our healing.  In fact, I know He does!  I look back over my life and know that He alone heals my broken heart.  It is not anything, but God that heals this type of hurt deep inside.  Yet, He allows our pain and He uses our pain and I believe it is to show His glory and who He is...we realize that He is what we need, He is who we need, He is the Great I AM  that only God provides the hope and the healing!

So I sit here with tears in my eyes knowing that in spite of my pride issues God loves me and He alone wipes my tears and heals my broken heart!  

I have always loved the verse found in Psalm 56:8 (NLT)  
You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.

God cares!

Sweet blessings,

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